Reality versus experience

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3/21/19

After a great start to the day, everything I thought I knew was shut down in an instant. I was dropped off by Cindy, a super nice Uber driver. We talked on the drive to Amicalola and she wished me luck and gave a hug. I was off. I walked into the lodge and looked like a chicken who just walked into a KFC. I had to play it cool, or joke..just do something! I bought on of those Appalachian trail "passports" that you get stamped at certain places. Basically this was my way of initiating conversation and asking what the hell I was supposed to do now. I stood at the arch for what seemed like forever, chatting with another guy. Eventually this guy named nick came over and gave us a rundown class thing on thru-hiking. He was cool and informative. I even learned when doing dishes, use water to rinse it off and then just drink the water. Ill pass. Two girls walked in and took a seat. They were im jeans and had no gear, I questioned to myself what the heck they were doing or if they even had any idea. Little did I know that one of those girls would soon be my hiking partner. I mustered up the courage and just got out "do you plan to start today?". Everyone else was camping the night at Amicalola, I didn't just drive 18 hours to wait some more. She said yes, and I asked If I could join. So we started to climb the 600 or so stairs to the top of the falls. We squeezed past people with our huge 35lbs bags as we ascended. stopping at every platform to catch our breathe. The time was 3pm, and we had to hike 7.4 miles to the first shelter. It was on.

Up and and we hiked. The terrain was drab, trees stood bare and nothing green for miles. It began to feel strenuous and the thought of giving up was real. Lucky for me that girl has a degree in biology or something, so she was interesting to talk with. Her name was Hot sauce, and if not for her I would have quit the first night. But after a long day, we arrived at Black gap shelter..late. it was 7pm and daylight was going fast. I of course had no idea what I was doing or in what order to do it. So i just watched people like a total creep. I eventually figured it out. Dinner was done in the dark with my headlamp on, and I wasn't even hungry. It must have been the nerves, but I forced myself to eat the garlic noodles I had. I put my food in the lovely bear box, which is like a huge metal box hikers can put their food in; Because bears. I set up my inflatable pad, tossed on my sleeping bag and was overtaken by sadness. My fucking brand new pillow was gone. My $40 sea to summit premium inflatable pillow was not in my pack. It was instead in the rental where i had slept the night before. Great, so my neck is already killing me and now my pillow is mia. Luckily I got a butt pad thing to sit on, but it also doubles as a pillow i guess. It was enough. I zipped myself up and instantly regreted even coming. What in the fuck am I doing? It was a cold night,the wind howled with a ferocious roar and it had only just begun. I was cold, and I just staired at the silhouette of the trees agains the moons glow.

Insert note:

I feel so scared it's not anything i ever imaged. The wind is howling and the air is bitter. All im hoping is to make it through the night. My anxiety and emotions are so high. Im exactly in my element, but so out of it too. Hopefully tomorrow brings a better view.

3/22/19

Today was a much better start. Even though It started off with me sleeping like shit and waking up at 4 a.m. it was easily low 30s, so i decided to stay inside my sleeping bag like a catipillar in its cocoon. My sleeping bag wrapped around me with only my head visible from the top. I had felt much better that i made it through the night, knowing how ai had felt the night before. Having eaten some garlic noodles last night for dinner, the privy was calling my name. My first Appalachian trail poop. Breakfast was a great start, mixed fruit oatmeal and a coffee, Mmm. The sun slowly started coming up over the hill and the morale of everyone lifted. It was still pretty cold, and everyone sort of just stood around with their hand in their pockets. Just like that, a fire was made. We sat around for a bit, letting the temperature rise a little before changing clothes. Hot sauce and I hit the trail at about 10am, aiming for Hawk Mountain shelter 8.5 miles away. Headphones in, walking and the occasional break were a thing for a solid hour as we crept closer to Springer mountain. Eventually we made it to the top of Springer, where the pressure was on. We were officially ON the Appalachian trail. Some celabratory pictures and a quick snack and we were on our way yet again. At about 12:30 we found a nice stream to stop for lunch. Rhododendron surrounded a small clearing where a brook ran through. Perfect. Food bags came out and lunch was on the menu. I ended up making two peanut butter and dried apple taco and had a Cliff bar. Having not gone too far our next target was a little further. Over the river and through the woods was Long Creek falls, and it was well worth the visit. These were the places that make it all worth the time.

Three miles down the trail was our Destination, Hawk Mountain Shelter. And there was space in the shelter! We rolled in a little after 4 and it felt great. The sun was still up, some friendly faces were there and the shoes came off. Hot sauce put up a line to hang our extra clothes, which after switching socks twice was much needed. Dinner came soon after, which was a lovely mix of cheesy broccoli rice with some gross lemon pepper chicken I put in for protein. Camp chores slowly got done and everyone was basically relaxing. A cool Ridgerunner by the name of Tom joined us too. They are basically people who work for the Appalachian trail conservancy and do stretches of the trail for... Conservation stuff. After everything was put away it was time go bundle up. And here I am now, writing this blog in my sleeping bag, ready for another cold night. I gained some confidence today, but I'm aure it'll be short lived. The trail has this way of keeping you in check, so I haven't messed with it. I look forward to some serious sleep tonight, and some more oatmeal in the morning. Goodnight world.