The "Not so" Great Smokie Mountains

4/12 Day 23

After a long sleepless night of snoring and social awkwardness, im ready to get the hell out of the Fontana hilton. So far all trail I haven't really met too many people I didnt like.. but oh my god. Just get me out of here.. i ate a cold bagel with butter i snagged from the restaurant the other morning, and made some coffee. I sat outside behind the shelter and talked to a really cool older guy named willie "long shadow". He was smoking out of a pipe and boiling some water on an older alcohol stove. The view from the bench was incredible, with the smokies looming in the distance. We packed up our gear and made our way on the trail. As Soon as we got to Fontana damn the skies opened up as usual and started down pouring. We put our registrations into the box and started the wet ascent to doe knob. The climb began, and we were well on our way into the smokies. Made it to doe knob, beautiful flowers Went to shelter, ate food and made some new friends. Great Convos, played charades. Bed

Some nights like these are less blog more fun. The experiences that I'll remember forever.

4/13 Day 24

Thankfully last night I had taken some Benadryl and i was able to get some real sleep. It was a pretty slow morning, and i wasn't really feeling great. On the menu this morning was my egg and bacon mountain House, I added some hot water and let it sit. Within 5 minutes some small water drops hit the top of my pot; rain.. I moved my stove a bit to hide from it, but it only lasted for a few minutes. I packed my snack pocket and then my pack, it was time to go. The first three miles went by really quick, just gradual hills with a very smooth foot path. Just around a corner was two ridge runners that were checking for registrations. "Are you thru-hiking?" The lady asked. I pulled out my half size wet paper and handed it over. The lady looked at it for what seemed like two minutes like it was fake, then handed it back and i went on my way. My hip belt dug into my lower stomach and i realized how bad i had to poop still. Luckily just down the path was Spence field shelter, our lunch spot and they was a privy! Alli and Ian were there as well as some others all taking a break. I checked my food bag to see what i could spare for lunch, and it was Lipton instant noodles, spam and tortillas. To be honest, it was pretty good. After lunch the privy was calling, and I had to go. Maybe a quarter mile down the mountain I heard a pack of coyotes yipping to each other. They were way to occupied with their fresh kill than to bother me pooping. But it was definitely the first time I pooped within earshot of a pack of coyotes. Next on the list for the day was Rocky top mountain, and boy was it an awful climb. It seemed like FOREVER going uphill on a rocky and muddy path. Up top the view was amazing, a full 360° view of endless mountains. There was a man and his daughter hiking, who told us he had hiked back in '89 i think; his name was Jeff Ult, olt? Anyways he told us he had written a book called a walk for sunshine. We took pictures of him and his daughter for him and he took ours, just like that we were on our way again. Our destination was only 6 miles so I figured it would be a quick rest of the day. Yet again I was so wrong about the trail. It was 6 miles of grueling downhill over wet slate, flat ground covered in inches of thick mud and steep uphills that flexed your ankles past their limits. Every step was torturous and my body was nearing exhaustion, all i wanted to do was fall down and just cry. I checked my Guthooks app to see how many miles I had left, 0.8... UGH. it was all uphill. I had my head down and just powered through it, thinking of nothing but moving my feet. I would get so frustrated when i would kick a rock or root, it actually made me mad. The shelter roof popped up over the hill and the voices of fellow hikers filled the air.. thank God. Everyone from last night was sitting around doing the usual shelter routine, and it felt so good to join them. I claimed a spot inside and got my food and stove out and ready to cook, except i needed to go get water. 0.2 downhill to a stream to cook dinner. You don't realize how luxurious it is to have running water in a kitchen to cook dinner. Conversations consisted of finding Joe a trail name, running out of food, plans for tomorrow and the incoming weather. Yeah, midnight calls for wind gusts upwards of 60-75 mph gusts, hail, rain and thunderstorms. It's going to be a long night. Nightly chores were done, I had called Britt to check in and then we had some last minute fun. Hiker Yoga/stretching and trekking pole jousting with Nanners. The sun hit the tops of the distant mountains and the wind picked up, time for bed. Tomorrow we're planning to leave at like 7 am to get some miles in while the weather breaks for a bit. Only 6 miles, but we don't want to get caught in this storm.

4/14 Day 25

It was time. The wind was softly howling and there was a break in the rain. We had to move now or risk getting caught in the storm. It took longer than i had liked to pack my gear up, mainly because people started getting up and were in my way. We all skipped breakfast and just grabbed snacks for the day, a decision I'd soon regret. It was roughly 5 miles to siler bald shelter, but we were ready to tackle the day. Joe and nanners left ahead of us and hotsauce and I soon behind. It was 5 miles of intense wind with gusts up to 45mph while walking uphill on a ridge. About half way through I started to get lightheaded and had to sit down. I watched as people passed me and it made me feel pretty shitty. I needed to eat and drink something or i was going to pass out. All i had for a snack was a rice crispy, but that thing got me the last 2 miles. With about 20 minutes left until the shelter we hiked up a narrow muddy path in dense fog, pouring rain and whipping winds..

I ran as fast as i could to shelter, joe and nanners were sitting down inside as I busted through the tarp "door" soaking wet. Im pretty sure I muttered something along the lines of "fuck this shit" as i tossed my trekking poles down to the ground, but with a smile on my face. I hung up a clothes line by climbing the chimney as nanners spotted me and guided the Paracord. Thank god for my sweet rock climbing skills. A little while after little debbie strolled into the shelter just as I had, except she wasn't looking too excited about it. She told us she was thinking on going further, which was several miles ahead - alone. We all convinced her to sit down, take off her rain gear and stay the night. The rain never seemed to stop, beating consistently off the metal roof of the shelter. One by one we made space for everyone, and I was helping people hang up their packs on Paracord lines I was making. Joe and I also tightened the tarp across the front wall so it wouldn't flap as much as it was. Nanners and I were bored, and since we were next to one another we decided to watch a movie on my phone, It was the Jungle with Daniel Radcliff. And it wasn't good at all. Now keep in mind this is at like 4 in the afternoon, We were all going stircrazy. We finally ate our dinners and hung up our food bags and went off to bed. It usually just gets so cold the only warm place is your sleeping bag.

4/15 Day 26

Double Spring Gap Shelter - Gatlinburg

Didn't sleep to well, lots of wind and had a bad dream about a haunted house, i got possessed. 6:50 and I'm up, everyone in the shelter is still sleeping. Kind of want to move. Debbie's alarm had been going off for like 30 minutes. I need to move. Got up slowly Took forever to get ready Joe knocked over hotsauce food Nanners knocked over her food Cold Hotsauce and joe left Hiked with nanners and little Debbie Amazing snowy view Climbed clingmans Got a free shuttle into Gatlinburg Got cicis pizza Found a room at motel 6 Went to NOC outfitters Went to general store for a bit. Went back to room to do laundry and resupply. Walked half way down main road to dunkins. Got coffee and muffin. Got an Uber to the grocery store. Did laundry first. Shopped. Came back to room, organzed food and gear a bit. Watched game of thrones with nanners and had popcorn. Clean up and bed. It's 3am

If you couldnt guess.. Gatlinburg was a busy day. I honestly didnt have time to write, nor do I want to. I feel like the above text describes the dsy enough. Sometimes these days will happen.

4/16 Day 27

Clingmans Dome - Mt Collins Shelter

I don't want to get out of bed...

I finally got out of bed and went to flapjack's to get breakfast with hot sauce. Hot sauce went to get some beef jerky and I went to the NOC outfitter and basically had a really shity time trying to exchange my insoles, which didn't happen and Prometheus got really mad. It should be well known that you should never piss off a Greek Titan.. I didn't do anything anyway but I did leave a horrible review. I went back to the room and packed up the rest of my stuff and went out with hotsauce to meet big Deborah at her hotel lobby and helped her shakedown her food bag; which weighed 300 lb. Not really Her pack can finally close and we realized that Debbie fell on her right side because the disproportionate weight of her pack caused her to fall. Debbie and I went to the general store and got ice cream and alcohol and the three of us are getting an Uber back up to clingmans dome. Our driver was the same guy with the red Prius from last night, he was great to talk to. Hotsauce, debbie and I first went into the visitor center and i got 2 new pins for my Grandma. Once we were ready we walked up to the top of clingmans. We were going to take some new photos on top of the tower, but there were already so many people on the top we decided we were going to keep hiking. I quickly learned that those opportunities are not to be passed up because I'll never be in that exact moment again in my life. I won't do it again I swear. Our first goal was just a shelter about 4 miles from us, and from there we would decide if we wanted to go to the next shelter another 8 after that. As usual we misjudged the trail and realized that it was a 3 mile climb up Mount Collins. It reminded me of camels hump in Vermont. A deep cut path, almost like a drain, curved and winded up and across the mountain. Green moss and big boulders covered the ground and tall dark fir trees sheltered us from the sun. It was one of the best times I've had walking in a while, especially in the Smokies. Hysterical conversations went on for hours, and we gave Debbie some pep talk on her bag and plan on doing a shakedown of it. Up and over the peek of Collins, we found a wooden sign with a "Shelter .5" written on it. We quickly walked down the path to see what our situation was like. It was good, plenty of spots to sleep tonight. Debbie had recognized a few people, one being a guy named "balls out". He was a riot, and after I had traded him some snacks he gave us a few hits off his pipe. I had a CBD pen (mainly for my back pain) and we just stood in this fairy tale like forest getting high. I made a fire in the shelters fireplace, which was short lived but super cool. It did take the edge off the cold for a bit. For dinner i had made some pasta with truffles and mushrooms, with extra cheese and some spam. Oh, i also made a hot chocolate. Anyways it was really good, but i couldn't finish the huge pot of noodles so hotsauce ate the rest. Oh man! I also brought out some Doritos and one of those Apple pie pastries and it was amazing. I think it was the fact of eating such exotic foods in the middle of the woods. Night came quick as usual, so into the sleeping bag I go. I've been out of my Groove for a few days because of the weather, but I'm finding it again after today. Going to try real hard to keep these spirits up! It's 9:18.. which in hiker time equates to 12:18. Guess ill go to bed now.

4/17 Day 28

Mt Collins Shelter - Pecks Shelter

Last ones out of camp, had a good breakfast, did 4 miles to Indian grave gap where we got trail magic. 2 miles after there was a ranger who was checking passes. Made it to newfound gap. Hotsauce wants to do 16 miles today.. which i don't really want to..trail magic from "cuddles". She was amazing and did 700 miles on the AT and some of the PCT. It was so great to chat with her. She made me the most amazing sandwich with turkey, Gouda and mayo. Another guy also gave us a huge cinnamon bun that was the size of a damn football. Out of nowhere Joe shows up, It was actually a nice surprise! We all sat on the ground and ate our food, and when you get free food after hiking all day it tastes so much better than normal. We sat and talked for a while, and then said our goodbyes. Trail magic is dangerous if not controlled through willpower, you could easily stay for hours. The four of us made our way up the trail and started the remaining 12 miles. It was going to be a long, painful day and we all knew it. The amount of "tourists" was kind of annoying, just people everywhere taking pictures of the mountains. Within the the first 15 minutes we passed a family coming down the trail we were going up. The little girl in the back just muttered "they do smell". Like you little shit, you're damn right we smell. As we hiked there were less and less people, which was nice. We started to leave the lush green moss and into some nice beech and oak trees. We made it to Charlie's bunion, which was an amazing summit with a really cool rock outcropping you could climb on. Obviously being the smelly trash we are, we climbed on the rocks and took some great pictures. The few people that were there looked at me a little weird. Wonder why... Maybe it had to do with me pulling my shorts up to my buttcheeks. Now of course my inner rock climber had to come out, because i saw a pristine rock face that hotsauce and I scrambled up for an even better view. It was well worth it; except for the stupid green bugs that kept biting us. After our fun we came to the first shelter and it was time for a team meeting. Stop here and do 20 miles tomorrow, or go another 7.4 and then only do 13 tomorrow.. we all voted to do the 7.4 miles today and just get it over with. The entire trail has be been very Rocky and lots of elevation change. It's 5:00 right now, and the sun is on its way down. My biggest concern is there being no room at the shelter, but I'm just expecting it at this point. The summit of Laurel top was breathtaking. Beautiful Ridgelines. Last two miles are painful, feet are getting really sore. shelter is full.. I hate the smokies, too many section hikers and rude people. Hotsauce and I ate food and drank some moonshine and Moscato. Being drunk was much needed last night.

4/18 Day 29

Pecks Shelter - Tri-Corner knob Shelter

I Woke up feeling okay today. Had a great breakfast again. Im really enjoying my new resupply of mixed oatmeal with granola and blueberries, an english muffin with peanut butter and coffee with Keto creamer. Once I realized it was 7:30 and we were still in our tents, I realized we probably weren't going very far today. It was either 5.5 or 13 miles and it was looking like 5. Joe took off early as usual, he had plans to push for the 13 miles. Not only were we the complete last ones to even get up, but also the last ones out of camp. It was honestly okay because Little Debbie needed a pack shakedown and her feet needed some TLC. The choice was made, we would stay and take care of Debbie for the morning and then do the 5 miles. Hotsauce worked on emptying Debbies pack while I helped her with her feet. For Deb's sake, I'll leave out the details... But I'm really glad we got to it when we did. Before I even attempted to help I had a swig of my trusty Moscato. One of the issues was also her boot laces being WAY too tight; Easy fix. The pack shakedown went really well and we were able to organize everything to fit better and also have better weight distribution. She's feeling much better, and her attitude has increased so much! It honestly feels so good to help someone like that. Knowing that I can help positively change their hike. Not to mention a few days ago she was ready to quit.

Wait, holy shit... it's noon. Guess it's definitely only a 5 mile day today 🙃

We hiked up the shelter trail snd saw nanners and cado with some others at the junction. We chatted for a bit before making our way up the trail. Even though today is only a 5-mi day, it's mostly uphill and the same rocky terrain as usual. Once again I spoke to soon and missjudged the Smoky mountains. They are much harder than I had anticipated from the first to days. The path was never ending.. Out of nowhere I randomly got pissed... Emotions sort of just poured in and I fucking powered through the entire 6115 ft mount chapman. Headphones in and head down I charged forward, nothing could stop me. I saw the shelter sign and a wave of relief hit me, "finally".. I walked down the path and saw all of the people hanging around. Another shelter full of more fucking people. 7.7 to the next. Fuck.this.shit

So turns out I may have overreacted a little bit. Some people did end up leaving the shelter (at 3 p.m?) and it made some space. The tent pads still sucked. Hotsauce keeps me level headed out here, otherwise I'd be walking to the next shelter out of anger and frustration. We set our stuff up on the bottom floor of the shelter and luckily some familiar faces from a few nights ago where here. We chatted for a little as we set up our sleeping pads and got our gear situated. I cooked my dinner on the dirt floor of the shelter, sitting on my rain pants for that extra layer of protection. Nightly chores are done and I'm just ready for bed.. tomorrow is supposed to be a bad day weather wise. Guess we'll see

4/19 Day 30!

Pecks Corner Shelter - Davenport Gap

Oh..my..god..

The 6am air mattress deflation has begun, the headlamps are on and the rain has not stopped. Everyone's moods are always rather low, even if they seem "happy". When it's raining up over 5,000 ft on a mountain it's no joke. We're still in our sleeping bags, trying to decide what to do. I think no matter what it's just going to be one of those days..

Sure enough, a few of us who stayed in the shelter decided to just cook in here. Now of course we were all extremely careful with our food (being in the shelter and all). The rain was coming down hard, and even some strikes of lighting and thunder. Therebwas one kid whobwas really butthurt about us eating in there, you know... Because of "bears". He mumbled some shit and told us that it's what separates hikers from tourists. Implying that we were tourists. I literally told him, "weird, I cooked in here last night too, see any bears?". He got pissy and left, so I said a nice "Okay, Byeee!". Don't fuck with me before I've finished my coffee, I'll end you.

15 miles today in a monsoon, can't wait to leave this place.

It was time to go, our rain gear was on, our packs were covered and we were off to conquer the day - or so we had thought. The rain was coming down hard, we weren't even on the actual trail before we were totally drenched. It was a big uphill climb to Mt Chapman, and it was yet another miserable climb

Rain stopped. Getting picked up by debbies parents. Going to town today instead Took a stick to the foot Debbie fell in the m

Rain stopped. Getting picked up by debbies parents. Going to town today instead Took a stick to the foot Debbie fell in the mudagain but shes clean us a ride to hot springs!!

Rain stopped. Getting picked up by debbies parents. Going to town today instead Took a stick to the foot Debbie fell in the mud again but shes clean Did the last 3 miles, painful Foot hurts pretty bad Finally got to Davenport gap, debbies parents gave us a ride to hot springs!!